Monday, March 30, 2009

Signs to spot abusive men

Saturday, March 14, 2009 (The Mirror)
By Rebecca Kwei
On March 8, the world celebrated International Women’s Day which was on the theme “Women and men united to end violence against women and girls”.
The media is replete with stories of violence against women and girls. Hardly a day passes by without news of a woman or a girl suffering one abuse or the other not only in Ghana but the world over.
Women, whatever their status in life may be, suffer from various forms of violence — physical, mental, sexual, verbal and economic.
There is a misconception that only the poor and illiterate women were subject to violence. But, women educated or not, employed or otherwise, have to bear the brunt violence and almost all incidents of violence were perpetrated by their intimate partners, relatives, neighbours and acquaintances.
Sadly, there are many women in abusive relationships and they are afraid to get out because they are not empowered economically and depend solely on their partners. Another reason is that cultural or religious which encourages the preservation of the family.
The focus of this article is help women in relationships spot abusive men so that they can see the early signs and get out before it is too late.
A relationship expert, Stephany Alexander notes that abusive relationships are characterised by control games, violence, jealousy and withholding sex and emotional contact.
Writing on signs of an abusive man, she explains that “an emotionally abusive man is harder to pin-point and a skilled, abusive man can easily make you think you aren't good enough or that everything is your fault. It is just as difficult to recover from emotional abuse as it is from physical abuse.
Emotional abuse causes low self-esteem and depression. An abusive man may tell you he loves you or that he will change, so you won't leave. However, the number of times you take him back, the more control he will gain. Empty promises become the norm. Make sure you pay attention to his actions and not merely his words. As the old saying goes, "actions speak louder than words." Abusive relationships are never abusive in the beginning. If they were, women would dump the abusive men immediately in search of a good man.
Stephany outlines these 10 signs an abusive man. If your partner exhibits one or more of these signs, it may be time to re-evaluate your relationship and seek help or get out.
Jealousy and possessiveness — He becomes jealous over your family, friends, co-workers. Tries to isolate you. Views his woman and children as his property instead of as unique individuals. Accuses you of cheating or flirting with other men without cause. Always asks where you've been and with whom in an accusatory manner.
Control — He is overly demanding of your time and must be the centre of your attention. He controls finances, the car, and the activities you partake in. Becomes angry if the woman begins showing signs of independence or strength.
Superiority — He is always right, has to win or be in charge. He always justifies his actions so he can be "right" by blaming you or others. A verbally abusive man will talk down to you or call you names in order to make himself feel better. The goal of an abusive man is to make you feel weak so they can feel powerful. Abusers are frequently insecure and this power makes them feel better about themselves.
Manipulates — Tells you you're crazy or stupid so the blame is turned on you. Tries to make you think that it's your fault he is abusive. Says he can't help being abusive so you feel sorry for him and you keep trying to "help" him. Tells others you are unstable.
Mood swings — His mood switches from aggressive and abusive to apologetic and loving after the abuse has occurred.
Actions don't match words — He breaks promises, says he loves you and then abuses you.
Punishes you — An emotionally abusive man may withhold sex, emotional intimacy, or plays the "silent game" as punishment when he doesn't get his way. He verbally abuses you by frequently criticising you.
Unwilling to seek help — An abusive man doesn't think there is anything wrong with him so why should he seek help? Does not acknowledge his faults or blames it on his childhood or outside circumstances.
Disrespects women —Shows no respect towards his mother, sisters, or any women in his life. Thinks women are stupid and worthless.
Has a history of abusing women or was abused himself - Batterers repeat their patterns and seek out women who are submissive and can be controlled. Abusive behaviour can be a generational dysfunction and abused men have a great chance of becoming abusers.

When love hurts

Saturday, March 28, 2009 (The Mirror Pg 19)
By Rebecca Kwei
Chris Brown and Rihanna, both R&B stars in the USA, were one of the hottest young couples. Both were doing well in the music career until the unexpected happened in February this year.
Chris is alleged to have assaulted Rihanna and made criminal threats. He has been arraigned.
For many, it was a fairy-tale romance gone awry and it has once again brought to the fore the issue of violence against women in relationships.
There are many ‘Rihannas’ the world over whose stories have not made headlines and are suffering silently.
In the wake of what happened between Chris and Rihanna and the rumours to the effect that the two had reconciled, the question of whether to ‘run for your life’ the first time your boyfriend or husband hits you has surfaced again.
Popular talk-show host, Oprah Winfrey, advising Rihanna on one of her programmes recently, said, “You need somebody to tell you the truth in this moment. And the truth is, guys, both Chris and Rihanna, if I were your friend, I would call you up and I would say, ‘Give it some time; get yourself some counselling; take care of yourself, heal yourself first’.
And also, ‘Love doesn’t hurt’. I’ve been saying this to women for years — love doesn’t hurt. And if a man hits you once, he will hit you again. He will hit you again. I don’t care what his plea is, he will hit you again”.
According to relationship experts, women respond differently according to their circumstances when they are abused. Some women hope or want to believe that the man won’t do it again. They want to believe that he is the same person he was when they first met and the relationship will work out in the long run.
So will you call it quits when your boyfriend or husband beats you?
“Sincerely, I will know how to react . . . it depends . . . If he is my boyfriend, I’ll call it quits immediately, but if we are married, I will caution him. If he repeats it, then I’ll advise myself. It’s not easy walking out of a relationship and one needs to be tactful when dealing with such issues,” says Machoe, a graphic designer.
“Violence against women is terrible and I’m not for it at all,” she adds.
Most relationship experts advise that “if he hits you once run for the hills” because most often the situation never gets better. And violence doesn't always begin with a black eye. It can start small and get bigger; much bigger, big enough to send a victim to the hospital or the grave.
Another approach for relationship experts is for the victim to write down the pros and cons of staying or leaving the relationship; tell a trustworthy, objective adult or counsellor of what is going on.
But, really, the choice of leaving or staying in an abusive relationship lies totally on the laps of the victim — it’s a decision she has to make and be responsible for. One question you should ask yourself is whether he will hit you if he really loves you.
There is no denying the fact that taking a walk from a relationship is hard but recognising domestic violence for what it means, getting the help you need and protecting yourself against violence or escaping the relationship are some of measures prevent yourself from becoming another statistic.

Delay returns with 'Delay'

Saturday, March 21, 2009 (The Mirror Pg 47)

By Rebecca Kwei
After a short exit from the TV screens, Deloris Frimpong-Manso, aka Delay returns with a new self-titled programme on television — Delay.
The maiden edition of the entertainment programme hits TV3 screens tonight at 6.30 p.m.
According to Delay who is also a mid-morning presenter on Oman FM, the programme which will be in Akan will be in three parts namely the profile, entertainment news (e-news) and the events alert.
She said with the profile segment will be a ‘tell-it-all” affair.
“I’ll delve deeper into the lives of the personalities that will be featured and not just scratch the surface,” she said in a telephone interview.
Delay said there were many controversies surrounding very popular people and she sought to unravel them.
“It does not matter what the rumour is, I will hit the nail right on the head,” she emphasised.
Another exciting thing about the programme she said was that e-news segment would be in unadulterated Twi laced with a bit of humour to enable people who do not understand the English language enjoy the programme.
The Event Alert segment which will give viewers an insight into events and shows that have been held or will be held, will have a guest presenter hosting that part every week.
Delay said the programme would also unveil new presenters who would handle the e-news and Event Alert adding that she felt it was important to give other people the chance to showcase what they could do best.
Deloris started work as a radio presenter and DJ at Life FM, Nkawkaw, in the Eastern Region, shortly after she completed Aburi Girls Secondary School.
She later worked at the Meridian FM, Tema, took a two-year break before doing a stint at Top Radio in Accra, where she made her mark as a hot radio DJ.
When Oman FM started operating in 2007, Deloris was offered a job as one of the first presenters to run the station’s test transmissions. She has since been rocking listeners of the station with hit songs and vibrant information on health and social issues.
Delay is sponsored by Yazz Washing Powder, Kingdom Herbal Company, 18th July Furniture, Spike Energy Drink, First Choice Hair and Beauty and Smooch.

From petty trading to mega business — the story of Chocho

Saturday, March 21, 2009 (The Mirror Pg 3)
By Rebecca Kwei
Chocho cream and chocho soap — these are very popular herbal products among Ghanaians and what started as a petty family business has now grown to become a household name in Ghana.
From very humble beginnings of producing herbal soap and cream for friends to try in Accra in 1999, the business has now become a full-fledged company known as Chocho Industries Limited, situated in Suhum in the Eastern Region of Ghana.
Recounting how it all started, the man behind Chocho Industries, Alhajii Mustapha Boateng, said while struggling as a bus driver plying between Accra Central and Fadama, his elder sister called to inform him about a dream she had had.
According to him, his sister had dreamt that he (Alhaji Mustapha) was in the cosmetics business and that he was very successful.
He said he thought carefully about what his sister had told him and decided to do something about it.
He said it then dawned on him that his father had been a herbalist, that he (Alhaji) also had knowledge of various herbs for curing skin diseases and that when he travelled to Japan to seek greener pastures he had worked in a cosmetics factory.
“This is how it started. I, together with my family, started on a trial basis, producing soap and cream in small quantities. We then gave them out to people to try. The feedback we had from them was that they were good products and they encouraged us. We were motivated by that to continue and the rest, as they say, is history,” he narrated.
Chocho Industries started operations as a company in 2003 and now it has eight products to its credit. They are Chocho Cream, Chocho Soap, Chocho Balm, Chocho Herbal Tea, Chocho Hair Fertiliser, Chocho Hair Food, Chocho Hand and Foot Cream and Chocho Skin Toner. The company uses herbal ingredients in the products to treat skin disorders and enhance skin health.
Alhaji Mustapha, after completing his pre-technical education at the St Paul’s Technical School from 1967 to 1969, where he studied electrical engineering, could not further his education because, according to him, he came from a very poor family and his father could not pay his fees.
He, therefore, went to stay with his uncle in Takoradi to practise the electrical installation he had learnt in school. But he realised his interest was not in the electrical field and, therefore, he branched into commercial driving as a taxi driver.
When his uncle was transferred to Accra, he went with him and started worshipping at the Ahmadiyya Muslim Mission at Osu because he had converted to the Islamic religion as far back as 1969.
He said while worshipping there, he got to know that the head of the Ahmadiyya Mission, Maulvi Wahab Adam, did not have a driver so he opted to be his personal driver.
Having worked for Maulvi Wahab Adam, who saw the potential in him, Alhaji Mustapha said he (Maulvi) did not hesitate to select him (Alhaji Mustapha) for a printing course in London when the opportunity came.
So for a year Alhaji Mustapha studied printing at the Raqeem Press in London and came back home to join the Nazir Press of the Ahmadiyya Muslim Mission from 1990 to 1993.
He later requested for a leave of absence and travelled to Japan to seek greener pastures where he worked at a printing press and a cosmetics factory.
In 1996, Alhaji Mustapha returned to Ghana and brought home five Benz buses which he gave out to drivers to work with. But that business venture was not successful and he was finally left with only one bus, which he started using commercially before his sister had that dream.
According to Alhaji Mustapha, he uses tropical herbs for his products and the secret of his success is that whatever is indicated on the products as being what they are capable of doing is true.
“Chocho products are of very high quality and what the products cannot do we do not indicate on the label,” he emphasised.
Another interesting aspect of Chocho Industries is that after extracting oil from palm nuts, the other residue of the nut, such as the chaff and kernels, are used to generate heat for the production of the soap and other products.
He said most of Chocho’s products which are in high demand can be found on many shelves outside the country, such as the USA, the UK, Canada and other African countries. The company also has plans of opening a shop in Sierra Leone to market its products.
Good packaging has a way of attracting people to buy products and Alhaji Mustapha says he is very much aware of that, adding that because of his printing background he ensures that Chocho products are well packaged.
So why the name ‘Chocho’?
Alhaji Mustapha said ‘Chocho’ was a nickname between him and his best friend who was a pharmacist. He said before he travelled to Japan, he and his friend had an agreement that he (Alhaji) was going to bring money home so that they would open a pharmacy shop.
He said that did not materialise because his friend passed away before he returned to Ghana. Therefore, the name ‘Chocho’ is in memory of his friend and also to remind him to abide by whatever decision the two of them took before he travelled to Japan.
Alhaji Mustapha’s family, from his wives to his children, are all involved in one aspect of the business or another. Indeed, two of his children are in Malaysia studying pharmacy to help in the future prospects of the company.
“I will not end with skin and beauty products. It is my dream to go into anything that has to do with human health,” he said.
He said it was important for people to be truthful and trustworthy because “whatever you sow is what you reap”.
Alhaji Mustapha was named Kwabena Oti Boateng when he was born at Akyem Kwabeng in the Eastern Region. His parents are Ibrahim Boateng and Salamat Tenkoramaa Boateng (his parents also converted to Islam).
He is married to Adiza Agyapomaa Boateng and Jameela Boateng and he has eight children — Sadika, Farida, Amiinah, Arshad, Ibrahim, Mariam, Sharak Bibi and Matla Boateng.

New project on anti-malaria drugs

Saturday, March 14, 2009 (The Mirror)
By Rebecca Kwei
A new project that will help monitor the safety and effectiveness of anti-malaria drugs, especially newly registered ones, will soon be launched.
Known as the Indepth Effectiveness and Safety Studies (INESS) of anti-malaria drugs in Africa, the project will provide the platform for the effectiveness and efficiency of antimalarials to be studied in real-life settings in Africa.
The four-year project, which is being funded by the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation, will take place in sub-Saharan Africa, which has 90 per cent of all malaria cases world-wide.
The countries involved in the project are Ghana, Tanzania, Mozambique and Burkina Faso. It will, however, start in Ghana and Tanzania.
Briefing members of the African Media and Malaria Research Network (AMMREN), a group made up of African journalists and scientists working together to reduce malaria on the continent, the Executive Director of Indepth Network, Dr Osman A. Sankoh, said malaria was currently one of the leading killer diseases in the world and that a combination of tools and methods were being used to combat it.
He said the UN Millennium Development Goals (MDGs) Report for 2008 said “the new malaria treatment strategies are effective but under-utilised and improved access to more effective antimalarial drugs can substantially reduce malaria cases and deaths”.
Therefore, he said, the effectiveness and efficiency of antimalarials need to be further studied in real-life settings in Africa in order to provide better policy options for the array of anti-malarial drugs currently on the market.
Dr Sankoh explained that drug development consisted of four phases and that INESS would provide the missing final section (phase IV) of drug development process for Africa and ensure rapid access to practical evidence on treatment effectiveness and safety.
He said the project was important because it would provide national, regional and international health decision makers with independent and objective evidence on the safety and effectiveness of new antimalarial drugs as a basis for a malaria treatment policy in Africa.
He emphasised that the project was not to change the malaria drug policy in Ghana but that since drugs went through a lot of stages before finally getting to the user, there was the need to continuously assess their effectiveness to provide relevant data for decision makers.
Dr Sankoh said INESS would be conducted in close collaboration with the National Malaria Control Programme and the Pharmacovilgance Department of the University of Ghana Medical School, Korle-Bu.

Thursday, March 12, 2009

Ghana Music Awards set for 10th anniversary

Saturday, February 28, 2009 (The Mirror Pg 39)
By Rebecca Kwei
Hurray! It’s the 10th anniversary of the MTN Ghana Music Awards (GMA) festival and according to organisers this year’s event “is a big deal”.
The prestigious GMA is one of the biggest events on the entertainment calendar in Ghana.
Activities scheduled for the ‘big celebration’ will be unveiled at the grand launch of the event on Tuesday, March 3, 2009, at the Labadi Beach Hotel in Accra.
The gardens of the Labadi Beach hotel will be transformed into a stage that will set the tone for the 10th anniversary celebrations.
It is expected that the juicy package that the organisers and their sponsors have for the scheme will be unveiled at the launch which is usually accompanied by glitz and glamour.
The grand launch has been preceded by a series of meetings with key industry professionals to set the basis for the awards scheme.
The result of these meetings will be published in the media in due course for the general public to have the opportunity to influence the scheme through votes.
With the tag line “It’s a big Deal!” the MTN Ghana Music Awards Festival is expected to culminate in a never before experienced glamorous night of fashion and music.
After the launch, a Nominees Independence Day jam which is scheduled for Kumasi on Saturday March 7, 2009, will follow.